Find Calm

Use a diary, weekly planner or the Relish Day Hub, to note down a daily routine which will help them to stay orientated. Simplify tasks and establish a consistent daily routine to provide predictability and focus to the day - reducing the anxiety of not knowing what is going on and creating a calmer emotional foundation.

Don’t put pressure on them or take on too much - Take things at their own pace to avoid being overwhelmed. Focus on what truly matters and take breaks when needed, allowing time for rest and calm.

If you’re speaking with someone with dementia, be calm and gentle with your tone.Be clear, and don’t talk too fast. Focus on one topic/instruction/question at a time, be patient and give them enough time to respond. Pay attention to nonverbal cues and use gentle touch for reassurance. Listen and validate what they are saying and their feelings, to ensure they feel heard and understood.

Keep it simple - smaller gatherings (one or two people) over crowds will be easier to deal with. Remove any distractions from the social environment, turn off the TV when conversing, the noise and visuals are unnecessary additional stimulus. If you’re going somewhere different, allow plenty of time to get there to remove further stress, and if it’s helpful to them some advance notice might help them feel more prepared (this will depend on the person).

If you’re interacting with someone with dementia, make sure you also limit distractions for yourself. Having your phone out will remove attention to those around you and making you less aware of their potential cues and frustrations. Leave your phone in another room and try to be mentally present in the social interaction.

Fidgeting is a common way to relieve stress, with restless hands or tapping offering a sense of calm. There are helpful products designed to soothe and distract, but be mindful to choose ones that feel appropriate, as something perceived as childish might be upsetting. At Relish we have a couple of products designed with this in mind – the Tactile Turn and the Fidget Widgets.

Simplify the surroundings by removing clutter and visual distractions. Keep the home familiar but try and reduce the amount of unnecessary objects as this can be sensorially overwhelming. Too many visual stimulus can also make it harder to see important items which may cause stress in other scenarios.

Lights also play a big role in shaping the atmosphere, especially in the evening and late afternoon. As the day winds down, it’s helpful to switch from harsh overhead lights to softer, more ambient lighting. The glare from lights bouncing off windows, mirrors, or picture frames can be disorienting.

Pay attention to their comfort by checking for things like pain, hunger, thirst, or fatigue, and make sure they’re not dealing with discomfort like a full bladder or skin irritation. It’s also important to keep the room at a comfortable temperature and be aware of any fears, confusion, or frustration they might have in expressing their needs. Anticipating their needs like offering a drink or asking if they need the toilet at regular interval scan help, and getting to know their life history will help you avoid triggers or offer extra support if needed.

If you’re with a loved one who has dementia try to look out for signs of discomfort; fidgety hands, tapping, looking around. Consider what might have caused the response - like an uncomfortable seat, a change in environment, or background noise. Gently redirect attention by thinking of or bringing up a positive memory and offer calm reassurance. Staying calm yourself will help them feel more at ease and reduce any tension. 

At times, trying to calm someone down can make them more upset. A helpful approach is to acknowledge their distress and then give them some space, such as stepping into another room for a few minutes, if it's suitable to do so. 

We can sense when someone around us is upset or stressed and so can your loved one, so look after yourself too and maintain your own wellbeing. This will in turn calm those around you. We can sense when someone around us is upset or stressed and so can your loved one, so look after yourself too and maintain your own wellbeing. This will in turn calm those around you.